Well my son has been in rehab for about 2 weeks now. Its family week and I am very proud of his progress. My hope is that he learns some new techniques for coping with life.
My son is truly the light of my life and I want nothing but the best for him. I hope that with the help of this program and counseling he can heal himself.
Monday, March 27, 2017
Monday, March 20, 2017
Melancholy
Sometimes I am prone to becoming a bit melancholy about my life. Like take my former marriage for example. I spent a day or so reminiscing, feeling emotional about some things and then WHAM reality hit me.
Yes I miss the intimacy that you can only really truly have with someone you have been with for so many years. The sex, yes I miss that sometimes. I guess when you have spent so much time and experimentation with one person you miss that. But really I think that is only one sided as I know he has been just as equally adventurous and dirty with others beside myself. So the conclusion is that yes I miss that but it is possible to develop this with another.
My ex is an advantageous LIAR. The stories he tells, the sides he jumps from and to are completely unbelievable. He states all his shit was stolen and in a new and complete sentence his shit was in Utah at his sisters. He makes deals with people, his own family most of the time, uses people and when they are no longer useful to him, he will turn on you. He lies like most people breathe.
Our IRS taxes are his responsibility, it says so in our divorce decree. One of the main reasons I walked away from our marital home, but tells me now that I should negotiate with the IRS. As they don't care from whom they get the money from. So yes I will deal with them so I can move on with my life but do take note I will go back and petition the courts for a cut of the sale of the marital home.
One of these days I am going to scan the police reports from his ridiculous meth induced dui where our brand new truck was burned down. Seriously good reading and a look into the mind of a fucking dirtbag.
Our children have been manipulated and used by him. They are only useful to him when the circumstances are to be in his favor. He only misses and wants to be a dad and grandpa when it benefits him somehow. Our daughter is blinded by his bull shit, as she had daddy issues and our son is just damaged and sees his dad for the loser he is.
Now the ex is involved with a younger girl with a young son. I can see her getting knocked up! Funny for me because he is 46 and will be wrangled down to raise a new kid that he can only damage like he did his own children. Not to mention the damage he will do to a kid that's not his blood.
You know all the worst characteristics that his father possessed and he himself had Daddy issues with, he now has. Congratulations JOHN BOEKE you have now become your father. In all aspects. YOU ARE A WIFE BEATER, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT, FELON, CRIMINAL, MANIPULATER, LIAR, THIEF, BAD FATHER, USER, AND DOWN RIGHT A BAD PERSON. YOU BECAME YOUR FATHER. YOU ARE THE WORST OF YOUR WHOLE DNA MAKEUP.
I know my predictions will come to fruition. Watch and see.
In the meantime he will hang himself.
Yes I miss the intimacy that you can only really truly have with someone you have been with for so many years. The sex, yes I miss that sometimes. I guess when you have spent so much time and experimentation with one person you miss that. But really I think that is only one sided as I know he has been just as equally adventurous and dirty with others beside myself. So the conclusion is that yes I miss that but it is possible to develop this with another.
My ex is an advantageous LIAR. The stories he tells, the sides he jumps from and to are completely unbelievable. He states all his shit was stolen and in a new and complete sentence his shit was in Utah at his sisters. He makes deals with people, his own family most of the time, uses people and when they are no longer useful to him, he will turn on you. He lies like most people breathe.
Our IRS taxes are his responsibility, it says so in our divorce decree. One of the main reasons I walked away from our marital home, but tells me now that I should negotiate with the IRS. As they don't care from whom they get the money from. So yes I will deal with them so I can move on with my life but do take note I will go back and petition the courts for a cut of the sale of the marital home.
One of these days I am going to scan the police reports from his ridiculous meth induced dui where our brand new truck was burned down. Seriously good reading and a look into the mind of a fucking dirtbag.
Our children have been manipulated and used by him. They are only useful to him when the circumstances are to be in his favor. He only misses and wants to be a dad and grandpa when it benefits him somehow. Our daughter is blinded by his bull shit, as she had daddy issues and our son is just damaged and sees his dad for the loser he is.
Now the ex is involved with a younger girl with a young son. I can see her getting knocked up! Funny for me because he is 46 and will be wrangled down to raise a new kid that he can only damage like he did his own children. Not to mention the damage he will do to a kid that's not his blood.
You know all the worst characteristics that his father possessed and he himself had Daddy issues with, he now has. Congratulations JOHN BOEKE you have now become your father. In all aspects. YOU ARE A WIFE BEATER, ALCOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT, FELON, CRIMINAL, MANIPULATER, LIAR, THIEF, BAD FATHER, USER, AND DOWN RIGHT A BAD PERSON. YOU BECAME YOUR FATHER. YOU ARE THE WORST OF YOUR WHOLE DNA MAKEUP.
I know my predictions will come to fruition. Watch and see.
In the meantime he will hang himself.
Friday, March 17, 2017
Miss Violet
I don't think one can begin to understand the pain I have in my being. I miss Violet so much. Its been since September and I have not seen her. Annikki cut off contact with me and for some reason today is very hard. I look at her pictures, remember her smile, I can hear her laughter and my heart is in pieces. I am her Grandma. I was there from the beginning. I took her in and loved her with every part of my being.
I don't understand why I had to be cut from her life. Like I didn't matter, like she was never a part of my heart and soul. I do not know how people can go on after losing a little one. I feel like I have lost a part of me. I fear I will never be the same ever again. WHY? I am not a bad person, I am not a bad grandma. I gave her everything. I would give anything to see her again.
This is one sad Grandma.
I don't understand why I had to be cut from her life. Like I didn't matter, like she was never a part of my heart and soul. I do not know how people can go on after losing a little one. I feel like I have lost a part of me. I fear I will never be the same ever again. WHY? I am not a bad person, I am not a bad grandma. I gave her everything. I would give anything to see her again.
This is one sad Grandma.
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