I don't think one can begin to understand the pain I have in my being. I miss Violet so much. Its been since September and I have not seen her. Annikki cut off contact with me and for some reason today is very hard. I look at her pictures, remember her smile, I can hear her laughter and my heart is in pieces. I am her Grandma. I was there from the beginning. I took her in and loved her with every part of my being.
I don't understand why I had to be cut from her life. Like I didn't matter, like she was never a part of my heart and soul. I do not know how people can go on after losing a little one. I feel like I have lost a part of me. I fear I will never be the same ever again. WHY? I am not a bad person, I am not a bad grandma. I gave her everything. I would give anything to see her again.
This is one sad Grandma.
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